I've got that care free feeling only associated with the day before you have a day off work. Yes, instead of mashing about for an international corporation tomorrow I shall be swanning about the home counties with time and tide at my own disposal. Wonderful indeed. Infact, I am rather uplifted at the moment as I have found something special on the internet which I have been watching with shock and awe at its beauty - click here if you don't believe me!

I have quite a nice few days ahead of me. Tomorrow we have already discussed, Friday I am treating my mother to a day trip to the south coast, Saturday I'll be down Dover docks and over to France to stock up on scent, wine and stockings and Sunday I will attempt to plant bulbs in the garden. I do like to fill the dismal days of a decaying year........click here for Autumnal pictures by the way

Last night the ladyfriend and I cracked open a bottle of fizz to celebrate the ladyfriend's redundancy package. It was a bit of a perverse thing to do in a way, but smile in the face of adversity........and at the prospect of laptops, foreign holidays, premium bonds and trinkets and gems which are now affordable.

It is a rather nice windfall which brings me on to my next subject - Autumn. On Sunday we went out with Mr C, Mr D and Missy Caution (a lady of oriental origin) for an autumnal ramble. It was a riot of colour and I managed to try out my new camera. I took a number of artistic shots, left the lens cap on several times and also used the movie setting to great effect. When I've sorted the pics out you will be able to breathe in the atmosphere of decay and hear the scrunch of leaf underfoot yourselves. Pictured above is the ladyfriend and I admiring finds from the forrest floor!

Bit of a late entry today, I have been busy sorting out the pictures from Lucy's Dinner and Dance on Saturday night. It was indeed enormous fun and I have to admit that I drank enough liquor to sedate a small elephant. You can see the pictures from the night if you click here It was 70's fancy dress.......oh, and I'm Demis Roussos.

I've not been terribly well. For the last two days I have taken to my bed and have been watching Murder She Wrote, Doctors and Flog It. I can't say it's been a delight but I have learned a lot about Denby pottery and Celiac disease.

I must get back to my best, I have Lucy's birthday party to attend, the garden to put to bed and a restorative autumn ramble to execute. I am fully booked up.......which is the very thing that has got me into my malaise to begin with.

Strange things are a foot. Last weekend I took some photographs on Eastbourne Pier of the ladyfriend and her mother. Hovering above their shoulders was an orb. I have read about such things on the internet and the general consensus is that they are paranormal - see this website. At the weekend the ladyfriend and I went for a walk in Alfriston Forrest and I took my camera with me. I took a photo of some trees and later at home on the computer was delighted to see lots of these little orbs. Infact one of them looked like a fairy in flight!

I uploaded the original of this picture to show my friend Clive who is earnestly open minded on these matters but I have just looked and something went wrong with the uploading. I think the magical fairy kingdom has intervened and thrown a fairy spanner into the works. It is a shame indeed. If you would like to look at the photos of the walk click here There is a small version of the picture middle bottom. I will endeavour to get the original as soon as possible. You will be shocked I am sure!

Happy Birthday! Lola is two years old!!!

It's going to be a wet playtime today. I was sat up in bed this morning admiring the pre-dawn darkness when I was taken aback by a big roll of thunder. I never saw it coming. On the way to work the dullness made the bulbs in people's houses all the more warm and inviting. As we drove passed the Inns and Public Houses, the lights of the morning cleaners emptying ashtrays and mopping up dribble made me happy. There is delight indeed in a downpour.

I realise now, after watching Alan Titchmarsh last night that I am sitting in a valley carved out by glacial melt water. How tremendous. It's certainly rocking my raft. I think I'd quite like to do an open university course in geology. It's never too late. Age is no barrier to education.

Late entry today, I've been a bit busy. I have managed to book myself passage on the Pride of Calais heading for France on the 30th October. What fun. A booze cruise ready for Winter. The ladyfriend and I are going to stock up on Sherry and Shiraz to tide us over the cold, dark hours when the wind rattle the panes and the glow of the electric fire reflects on the photo frames of family and friends.

I'm feeling a bit provincial today. I don't know if it's the weather but I'm feeling rather nondescript. I don't feel capable of great things. It's one of those days when I'll be quite happy to get through it with just the odd scratch or bruise. I think I'd rather be home with my feet up watching Tricia.

This global warming business is a bit of a letdown. I'd always hoped I'd live my life on earth unaffected by catastrophic events. I Managed to miss the Great War, Great fire of London and the Black Death. I'd rather hoped I'd shuffle along without losing a limb or my marbles, now it looks like I'm going to drown by the rising tide or get blown off the pier.

Last night I blessed the bump of my unborn niece or nephew. I am incredibly excited about becoming an aunt. I intend to guide the child along the correct path of life and fill its head with nonsense. I can't wait for the wee one to come to stay at Eastbourne, build sandcastles with paper flags, gaze in wonder at rock pools and scream when a seagull pinches its chips. I have worked out that I shall be about 39 when the kiddy is 5 so I shall still be quite agile and able to offer piggy backs and the like. I have until May to enrol in Aunty school.

Talking of childhood, I recently visited Chalfont St. Peter where I grew up. I went to look at my favourite trees on the common where I would play. I took some pictures which are here. I climbed my favourite trees which had grown bigger in the last 25 years. It was odd really as when I was a youngster they were big and tricky to climb and all these years on they were bigger still.......weird.

This weekend the ladyfriend and I went all other the place, Lewes, Hasting, Battle. When we got to Battle they were having a huge reinactment of the Battle of Hastings as it was the anniversary. It was £8 to get in and we couldn't run to it so I am going to save my pennies for next year instead. Click here for pictures

On the way to work this morning the ladyfriend and I saw the sinister twins again. They are two schoolgirls and they dress like scrubbers. They look identical and they both have identical expressionless faces. It puts the willies up you when they wait at the pedestrian crossing. I bet they are feared by the knowing in the street where they live. "Don't look in their eyes" the old people must cry as the girls stand outside their bungalows. I bet the neighbourhood pigs sweat and the milk turns bad as they run errands for their mother.

Had a bit too much garlic last night at Mr C and Mr D's. It was a lovely dip and I must admit to letting greed take hold of me, a sinful sight and one I am ashamed of, especially as the house was not my own. My appetite sometimes lets me down in the company of others.

A beautiful new day. A wonderful world. Two birds having a laugh on my bird table. The paper shop opening late as the owner is away leaving his elderly father in charge of the shop. An avenue full of pensioners who run their lives like clockwork thrown into mayhem because the Daily Mirror isn't in their hands at 7.45am

Kids smashing trees with big sticks to get conkers. People planning leaving do's as they leave their jobs. Flowers on my desk just about to 'go over'. My wonderful mother trying on clothes bought in haste which she might take back to the shop. Milk running out in the fridge. A nice man called Tom phoning me to help him with something on the work website. Listening to Rufus Wainwright. Emailing Clive about tonight. Laughing atleast three times. Singing Elkie Brooks whilst making tea.

Baby cried the day the circus came to town
'Cause she didn't want parades just passing by her
So she painted on a smile
And took up with some clown
While she danced without a net upon the wire
I know a lot about her
'Cause you see
Baby is an awful lot like me

And it's not even lunchtime.

It's silly season for Lola, I have little or no news. The ladyfriend is under the threat of redundancy and is in a state of flux. I can do little more than offer a supporting arm as she rides out the many mood swings resulting from it all. Never mind, this time next year she will be firmly ensconced in a new job - one with less stress, sociable hours and better air quality. I've put her name down for the local colliery.

I'm going to end up moving departments and because of this have to wear 'smart clothes'. It's a denim no go area so it's off to New Look for a pair of slacks and a capsule wardrobe. It would be nice if I could wear pirate clothes. Captain Hook stuff. Wouldn't it be nice if you could do that? It's smart, a lovely ruffled shirt and velvet coat. I'd like to see them pull me up on it, the european court would give them short shrift.

I have not written for a couple of days as I have become rather anti-technology. The internet has got on my nerves rather. I love it because of the wealth of information that is available but at the same time I miss life before it. Remember when you used to have to phone or write for details? When shopping used to involve standing up, walking and interacting with people? Booking a holiday involved flicking through brochures, folding pages at the corners and visiting a travel agent. Bank details were a mystery until your monthly statement arrived. News was read in newspapers, pornography was on the top shelf, you heard from friends through a telephone or through the post.

It's a double edged sword, the stuff you can do now was unthinkable before it but I feel we are at risk of being tangled in the web. P&O are shedding staff because we are all jetting off on cheap airlines. Thomas Cook are cutting back because we are doing it ourselves. What price progress?

I want telephones to "tring, tring" in the privacy of homes not burst into Britney Spears in Homebase. I want typing to involve ribbons, writing to involve pens, greetings to involve cards and stamps not some daft lunatic cartoon in Outlook Express. I want shopping to involve more than one vast aircraft carrier of a shop. I don't want to press a red button to go interactive. I want meat that's unloaded with growth hormones. Vegetables to travel from Kent not New Zealand. Baseball caps worn by Americans, sportswear worn by people doing something athletic, a football player's wages to be similar to the number on the back of their shirt. I want a ban on microwave ovens, call centres, mobile telephone masts, incinerators, women driving their kids to school AND last but not least, computers.

The old cart has hit a few lumps on the bumpy road of life this week. The ladyfriend's job is in question and she's a little perturbed. I have told her to hang out for a job she likes and that this is the ideal opportunity to retrain in opthamology but I don't think she's keen. She's my little Lech Walesa at the moment and I'm having to agree with her every demand. I thinks she's quite suited to a trade union role. I put a little bit of extra mayonnaise in her salad this morning to keep her sweet. She might be flying me off to Thailand with her redundancy so I'm Stepford Lola from now on in!

Had a very nice weekend. On Friday the ladyfriend and I had brunch at Favoloso's which, if anyone knows Eastbourne, is an excellent cafe near the theatre. It was more interesting as it first sounds because at the Devonshhire there was a big magician's exhibition/get together and as a consequence Favoloso's was packed with people of magic and mystery. I was rather impressed. Nicely turned out gentlemen sprinkled pepper like fairy dust on their eggs and brassy women - who I took to be their assistants - chuckled over their cappucinos.

We did a little light shopping,popped ourselves on the 'hop on, hop off' tourist bus, rambled around junk shops then ate in an Italian eaterie in the evening. I can't speak highly enough of the Spaghetti Factory. It has a very simple yet contemporary menu and a fine cellar indeed.....I can't remember the walk home.

Saturday was a bit of a washout so we sat and watched episodes of Kath and Kim which were blinding. Yesterday we went along to the Birling Gap in the late afternoon and I was cock-a-hoop to see the tide was out. I took some pictures which the more artistic amongst you may appreciate.

I'm feeling rather lack lustre today. A little bit like a beer mat at a darts tournament in a suburb of Manchester. I dare say that the bottle of red wine that the ladyfriend and I consumed last night has had some influence on my mood. We can't all be a ray of sunshine every day - not that Moira Stewart would have you believe that. She always manages to sparkle before dawn.

I am trying to pull myself out of my torpor by listening to some uplifting music but it is having little or no success in fact I think it's doing the reverse.

I think I shall just have to call today off, rain has stopped play, the fete has been cancelled, the show has been postponed due to the leading lady contracting Trypanosomiasis.

It's time to celebrate indeed as today is the official start of Autumn. For today only the day will be the same length as night (well nearly). Pack away your figure hugging, limb revealing t-shirts and dig out the chunky home-knits and kick about in the leaves - fallen, like Tommies at the Somme. To celebrate, the ladyfriend and I are going to feast on Oriental food as the Sun crosses the celestial equator. Hoorah for that. Summer and her wanton ways are now gone. I've never been a fan, I have enjoyed the odd evening meal in the garden, splashed in the surf in a playful (and not unattractive manner) but it is nothing to the pleasure I have felt from a roaring fire, a bottle of red wine and my crumpets well and truly toasted!

On the way to work this morning I saw the girl who looks like Elle McPherson. She really does look like her. But she has such a frown on her face all of the time. I think she must be late for her bus. I also think she is angry because if it wasn't for Elle she might have been a famous model earning lots of money instead of rushing along the road to get to work. The ladyfriend said that she might not want to be a model. Perhaps she is a reluctant looky likey who gets fed up with people asking if she is Elle McPherson. Infact, perhaps the wind changed direction the last time she scowled at someone asking if she was Elle and it has got stuck like that. Permanently angry at Elle - now if that isn't a good title for a film I don't know what is.