It's BACK! It's on BBC1 on Saturday! Oh my lord I can't contain myself.

I saw a disaster unfurl infront of my eyes this morning. On my way to work I see a lady take her kids to school every day. They use one of those four by four type things which she just about fits her two small children in. This morning I looked up to see her opening her door, I looked down to see her Chelsea tractor waiting, I looked back up and saw her mouth agape, I looked back down to see that someone had stuck a pair of pink balloons under her windscreen wipers. These were not just any balloons, they were novelty balloons fashioned to look like a pair of ladies knockers. They flopped about in the steady breeze as the young mother stood frozen to the spot, how would she explain them to her kids who would doubtless want to keep them?

I have a habit of listening to snippets of other people's conversations and picking up the wrong end of the stick.
I just walked out of Tesco and took my normal route back to work which involves going passed a bus stop. On most occasions there are a number of pensioners there who have spent the best part of their pensions on pick and mix, stout and those horrid rotisserie cooked chickens which sweat in their plastic bags.
Today didn't disappoint. There were three old gents waiting for the bus, one man stood in the middle, both hands in pockets thrusting himself out as though he were about to deliver a speech of epic proportions. He gazed whistfully and said "I'd like to get my hands on Jim's wife at some point" Well, you can just imagine what ran through my mind.
Was this an admission of some long held sexual attraction which might one day soon come to fruition or was Jim's wife about to be phoned up and invited for a rubber of bridge? I will never know.

This Yoga business, I thought it was a gentle exercise which would make me all lithe and lovely with minimum effort, well I was wrong. Today I feel as agile as stephen Hawkings. Ten minutes of this is what's done it.
I found this on You Tube yesterday. It's one of those flash mob things: At exactly 3:30pm on a secret cue, almost everyone in the square froze. The few bewildered tourists didn't know what was happening. For 5 minutes the participants held their positions, and then magically everyone unfroze.
I love that kind of thing, I've signed up so I get invited to the next one, I want to go to the mass pillow fight.

Did the Nigella Salmon Escalopes with Watercress on Monday night which was simple yet effective. I'd give it 8 out of 10. If you're a heavy smoker I'd give it a miss as the dressing is on the subtle side.
Got my hands on Delia's new book and it's fabulous but her use of Aunt Bessie's cannon of frozen produce doesn't sit well. Frozen mash???!!! Discs of frozen mash???!!! My forrays into the frozen aisle of the supermarket are few and far between, I dip in for prawns and peas so I have yet to sample the cornucopia which Delia says is there, we shall have to see.

I've been a bit down in the dumps today. I went to the park and sat on a bench and in the sun at lunchtime to try and cheer myself up. It sort of worked. An old lady passed me on the way to the shops. I sat there long enough to see her return. It's one of those shops that have thin white plastic bags so I could see what she had bought. She had a tabloid newspaper and a bottle of white wine. I can only imagine what kind of afternoon she had in store.

Happy Valentine's Day

Friday is D Day. Delia's new book is out. If you go onto her website there is a ticker which says "Delia's back in 1 day, 9 hours, 55 mins and 3 seconds" fantastic. My book is on pre-order with Amazon.
Of course it's going to put me in a bit of a countdown conundrum with Nigella so things could get a little sticky for me in the kitchen. I will have Delia in one had and Ms Lawson in the other I shall be like a rose between two thorns.

My photos of Bruges are here ready and waiting for you. They are quite nice but I don't think they convey how bitterly cold it was. Nothing can.
At the gym yesterday and I actually saw someone fall off a running machine! It actually does happen, real life slap stick in a Norman Wisdom styley. Ofcourse we all ignored it, no one rushed to the poor sod's aid which is probably how he would have preferred it anyway. No one really talks at the gym, which I think is probably for the best. On the rare occasion that the wife comes I have to tell her to put a sock in it.
Tomorrow night we are starting Yoga for beginners. I'm beside myself with excitement. I like a bit of that body is a temple stuff, I feel I may develop a mania for it.

Been a bit lax but I've still been 'a cookin'. We've done the Chicken schnitzel which was so good we made it twice and the Steak slice with lemon and thyme which was PHE-NO-MENAL! oh and the mirin glazed salmon again when I wasn't in the mood for a shock.
However, this weekend the lovely Mark and Tim took us away to Bruges (pictures to follow) and what a fantastic time we had. It was my first time in Flanders but it wont be my last. We were treated to a dinner which I swear to God was out of this world. It beat Nigella hands down, we had the most incredible pigeon breast, it was a taste sensation. I will now eye the bird table with avid interest, and the blood sport magazines.
I've left the best to last though, have a look at the hotel we stayed in Yesterday morning I woke up in Colin Farrell's bed, no, don't worry, I haven't been another notch on the bedpost of the Oirish womaniser! Last year he stayed in our suite whilst filming "In Bruges" - I shall dine out on that one for a long time!