What a plonker

I have a bit of a skills gap when it comes to wine. A mild panic comes over me. I know what I want but a kind of snowblindness hits me when I see all the bottles. French, don't like the French so they can go swing, Argentina? Are we still at war? South Africa, it's ok to buy now that they've freeeeeeee'ed Nelson Mandela. Thank goodness then that Sue know's her way around the new world by way of the old world, round the cape of good grape. Like one of those middle England housewifes who have a husband who sees to all the complicated household stuff I scuttle off and 'do food' when we hit the supermarket leaving Sue to come back with a bottle under each armpit. Only today she wasn't with me. It being a bit autumnal I thought, red wine, I can do this I thought, I know what to do. As a general rule of thumb anything under a fiver is paint stripper and anything over a tenner is for a Saturday night and this being Sunday I had to hit in the middle. Avoid 'special offers' and 'fun labels' and Blossom Hill because that's all you win on a tombola that I do know. I've walked out with Villa Maria from New Zealand, Merlot 2011 at £7.99 (plonk). But, like a husband who has to pack for himself for a holiday, it's probably highly inappropriate - the equivalent of socks with sandals.