I have had a marvellous weekend, fabulous weather. Trouble is, I got so smashed on champagne on Saturday night that it's driven me to give up the booze. I have decided that for the next three weeks (lent) not one libation shall pass my lips. It's going to be difficult as,regular readers of my diary will know, lady lager plays a large part of my life. I'm not giving it up for good, no, no, just getting a handle on my clear dependency.
The ladyfriend and I bought two marvellous sleeping bags for our summer camping trips, they are heavily upholstered, I can't wait for summer and the camping fun that it brings, the birdsong, the spit of the sausages on the bar-b-q, the scent of toothpaste in the communal shower blocks! Can't wait.

Just woken in Mr Clive and Mr Drew's house, had a lovely evening which included wine and food and splendid conversation. On waking this morning I heard the birds singing and as I did not recognise their song it made me realise how different birds have different tunes.
Where the ladyfriend and I live the birds are quite chilled out and lazy, here at the centre of town the birds sound like eminem. I am quite worried that the proliferation of rap music in society is effecting British bird song.

What a beautiful March this is turning out to be, splendid. I pass trees on the way to work that are so heavy with blossom it's a wonder they can stand up. Looking very much forward to this weekend it is going to be an absolute joy. The ladyfriend and I are at leisure, we don't have to go to Eastbourne to look for flats, we don't have to tear about anywhere.
Fabulous. We could pop up to Camden - in the words of Laurence Olivier "Is it safe?" - The football is on, that should prove a thrilling diversion. I do have to pop out and get a 'lil' something for a most wonderful lady in my life, my dear mother. What do you get a lady who has everything? Perhaps I should buy her a trolley dash around Collumbia Road Flower Market, trouble is, because of the crowds there she wouldn't get past the delphiniums.

God bless her one and all

I've just realised I have got to work and do not know this morning's news. I don't know how Basra is or if Baghdad has fallen. I have a knowledge void which I need to fill. It does seem that life is full of 'events' lately. Last year there was the Queen mother snuffing it, the golden jubilee and then the world cup. It seems to be a most eventful time to live in.
Talking of golden ages, unfortunately, due to the extended news coverage, not a lot has been said about the fabulous Elizabeth I whose 400th anniversary of her death passed by uneventfully on Monday. Shame on us all.
I think, therefore, I must ask you all to raise a glass to her as soon as possible, we all have a lot to be thankfull to her for........especially Glenda Jackson.

Had a pectin problem this morning, I brought back some oranges from Malaga and made marmalade with them on Sunday. I had some on me toast this morning which tasted ten out of ten but the consistency was ver ver runny. I will make my next batch with this in mind.
I was reading a copy of the daily mirror this morning, I am disgusted at their stance on this war. I think after this week I shall stop reading it altogether but Miriam's Casebook is rather intriguing. What is his secret? I suspect homosexuality and it's only day two.

I forgot to mention, on the way home on our flight was the ugly boy from "Eldorado" the one with the hooky nose and wheel chair bound sister. I imagine he was in Spain for one of those reunion things soap people do for the fans. I loved "Eldorado".
Went to our financial advisor today and it looks like I am good for a few bob. All going well the ladyfriend and I will be dining on freshly caught mackrel barbecued over a makeshift stove on the beach in a couple of months.
I shall have a party - similar to the full moon party in Goa - by Eastbourne beach to celebrate.

Email from Lorraine foul mouthed Twitchen : Dear lola 
Mrs T here, having a lovely time with Tina and her family we are so pleased to here that you support our braves lads who are fighting for the peoples freedom in Iraq. Bugger the stupid winkers who are marching today they mean nothing, they should support our brave lads and lassies who are fighting for us and we wish them all the best god bless them all. I hope you had a lovely time in espania and will return to work in a better mood and sober just like me. 
~Your bosom budd Mrs T
 ps. who has had a few

Back home and I see the grass needs cutting. Had the most unusual flight home, a group of some twenty children were onboard who were dressed in the strangest of fashions, all remarkably well behaved but unlike real children. I think they were either christians or a theatrical group as a few of them "performed" in the baggage hall. sitting behind the ladyfriend and I were flight "experts", as the plane was coming into land they were saying things like "He's circling to do this" and "When we came back from Greece they did that", instead of sounding well travelled they came across as the halfwits they really were. Nice lady sitting on our row, for the entire flight she never said a word which is refreshing. She sat and read her OK magazine in complete silence.
I must just say a few words of encouragment for the troops, keep up the good work boys, we're behind you all the way!

Ola! The sun is out and we can bathe our english skin in the warmth atlast! I see from Sky news that the war has kicked off, I must say I do find it all terribly exciting. Obviously from arms length though, not in my back yard and all that. I hear France and Russia are creating a fuss, really, history should tell them when to keep their mouths shut. I am sure the people of Iraq will run to our troops as they free them from their bondage like the French did in the Parisian streets in 1944. How soon they forget.
Never trust the French. Good job they aren't on board, they're no good in a war and only use their artillary to blow up innocent reefs in the pacific.

Today -as the threat of war looms in the gulf the storm clouds loom on the Costa del Sol. The weather is mucky, but never mind it aint Kuwait! We are discussing lunch, perhaps a lil tapas somewhere, trouble is I do like a large portion and sometimes the spanish skimp. I am feeling a little under the weather, a lil strep throat. I am hoping it will pass.
We went shopping yesterday in a marvellous supermarket, forgot to get truffles but managed to stock up on fine olive oil and rioja.
The supermarket was a bit wiffy in parts, it's that wind blown pig that gets me every time.

The ladyfriend knows no restraint and after promising me she would not make a show of herself -AGAIN- she proceeded to humilate not only myself but the lovely boys from the costa del sol in a riffy restaurant last night.....actually it was the afternoon.
We were all in bed by nine last night after a little too much booze. Too wan to talk further.

17 March, 2003

Well girls the Ladyfriend and I have landed safely in Spain and have sunk a glass of wine already - well, the sun is over the yard arm.
My ears are crunching like a goodùn as we both suffered the bends in the plane. Absolutely shattered but intend to live the high life! Look out for photos of my escapades coming soon!

Feel a lil wan today, I don't know why, perhaps it was the excitement of it all, but I was up at 3.30am. I couldn't sleep so I went down to watch the telly. I was greeted with the sad news regarding Dame Thora - gone on the stenna stairlift to the sky Shame. Another nail in the coffin of Last of the Summer Wine, how much longer can they carry that series on?
I feel absolutely shattered now, thankfully the Ladyfriend loves to do the packing, she has a system and I really wouldn't want to come between her and a winning formula so I have let her pack the cases.
Not long now and it's bye bye Blightly and Ola Gin and Tonic. Keep 'em peeled for snapshots from the sunshine coast.

Well, the flat fairy has waved her magic wand and at last we have found our flat, offer accepted, deal done - well you know, subject to blah blah blah but we've found it! It has a lovely sitting room which is light and airy and the sunshine streams into it. Infact, it is a bit like St. Ives, I expect to walk into it and find artists sitting around in smocks. The kitchen is cute and cuddly - again lovely and light. The bedroom is smart and the bathroom is tidy (unusual avocado suite but that can come out). It's ace, Victorian and the best thing since buttered toast.
The sense of relief is incredible, no more riffy dives to view, no more spiv estate agents to talk to - except our Maxine - but it's over. I know there will be delays and all that trauma to come but the ladyfriend and I are in no hurry. La Dolce Vita atlast.

Last day at work before the Ladyfriend and I hit the Med, oooh I feel like putting on the disco music now! I've had quite enough of this work thing at the moment and I am cock-a-hoop that I can have a week of the real world for a change.
Shangrila, it's just a shame that one has to return. It's quite ironic that the safety work brings also entails a fear of living a life you would prefer.
I'm putting the pinny on tonight and cooking for Mr Drew and Mr Clive. I am doing pig pesto (my dish of choice at the moment) Unfortunately Mr Clive has a food allergy and can't take poultry - a giant of a man and a chicken can floor him.
Tomorrow it's off down to Eastbourne to take a butchers at Enys Road, please Flat Fairy sprinkle some good luck dust on this one!

Oooh I can feel that down on the Costa feeling, not long to go now and we will be landing - deep vein thrombosis permitting - on the runway of Malaga Airport. I love that airport, I love the walk from the plane to the luggage, the squeaky floor, the low ceiling and the tourism posters. It's a beautiful piece of architecture, it feels so swinging stylish. It must have taken years to build, you know what the spanish are like.
Yep, just got a few loose ends to tie up and I shall enter that euphoric holiday coming feeling at work, the cavalier attitude creeps in where you cut corners knowing full well it will be out of your hands - and blame - next week. I love the impulsive holiday splash out where you buy something in Top Shop for the 'holiday' just because you can, I love the magazine I buy at the airport which I wouldn't normally buy in the real world, I think last time it was 'Real Woman'. I especially like that "look at me I'm going somewhere foreign feeling" that I ooze at airports, Oooh and I do LOVE a take off ..........Una Paloma Blanca!

Oh the power of the provincial newspaper, this country is just about to go to war and my local newspaper has launched the "Gone to pot" campaign. An attempt to legalise cannabis? No, a quest to get the council to fill in all of the pot holes that are in the roads. Good god....I quote "ANGRY cyclists and pensioners are among scores of readers who have hit out at the state of Buckinghamshire's roads in the wake of our Gone to Pot campaign."
Scores, not thousands, not even hundreds, infact scores = 40 people.
Moving along, the ladyfriend and I are feeling a lot better about this beastly flat buying business and have an appointment to see another gaff on Friday. Maxine is meeting us at 3pm outside number 87 so it's up with the spirits and down with Mr Sad. This one has a share in the freehold which can only be a good thing.

Bit fed up today, I've had enough of property and estate agents and locations and vendors and leaseholds and freeholds and mortgage advisors.....Had a bit of a weekend, we put an offer in on a flat and we were then subjected to a woman who looked less feminine than Les Dawson trying to flog us a mortgage for half an hour after being told we already had one in place. PLEASE DO NOT GO NEAR THE HALIFAX - ineptitude runs through that organisation like a young Sebastian Coe.
....Found our dream home on Saturday decided to buy it only now we find out that the yearly maintenance fee is £800 I mean come on, that's extortion, so we have decided not to buy it.....the ladyfriend and I are severely down in the dumps at the moment and have decided to take two weeks off to recover from the vipers of the property world.
We are off to Spain next week on a visit to the beautiful boys on the costa del sol where we will mix in fine company and dine at the best of tables. I am sure that the gin alone will smoothe away the edges of the eastbourne property scene.

I've got a banging hangover from too much wine and hardcore.....I spent last evening sorting out some cd burning for my beautiful boys on the costa del sol, god knows what I have done for them as I was as tight as a drum at the time. I've got through a few blank cds left so it must have been successful.
I bought the cds at Asda last night from a gormless girl in the home entertainment section, they were playing a record which I liked and have heard on the radio, I didn't know who it was by and as the music subsided I asked "who sings this?" she replied "Daan know, great innit?" and after making my purchases - bought the Turin Brakes cd too - she wacked it back on louder and started bouncing up and down. Thank god for music.

I feel I may be having a mental breakdown. Coming to work this morning a car passed me and I am convinced that it was Jonathan Aitken - again. I do tend to see lots of famous people on a regular basis. Infact I did see the late Princess Diana in a Tesco carpark several years after her death, being "sensitive" to communications from the other side this wasn't a problem to me. Anyway, I rarely see the same person twice. Is it a glitch in the Matrix or mental disease?
The ladyfriend and I are off to Eastbourne tomorrow for a second viewing on a flat, I really like this one. I've mentally decorated it several times. Mr Clive and Mr Drew are coming with us again on Saturday so we can introduce them to Eastbourne society.
Today I am listening to my noel coward cd from my ebay debacle, it is very good and in exceptional condition.

I was talking to Susan - a colleague/co-worker, whatever - we suddenly hit on the subject of stamp collecting and memories flooded back of shoe boxes full of torn envelopes with stamps on, transparent packets of stamps from around the globe and empty pages of books with grids on. In particular we discussed those strange sticky things that you fixed the stamps on with that would spill out onto the carpet like confetti and never be the same afterwards. I remember how the pages would crinkle that did have stamps on and those pages that you knew you would never use with a country you'd never heard of, those pages would never crackle. The adverts in the back of the beano for "Bumper packets of stamps of the world"
I wasn't an avid collector at all, as a child I was just as faddy as I am now and would be passionate about something for a while like the next person. Oh but the memories that you think you've forgotten that are unleashed in an instant through a smell or a few words. Somewhere in the brain is a huge damn the size of Ikea. If those computer geeks could work out a way of transferring memories onto discs they'd sell like hotcakes. I suppose then people would constantly live in the past if they had access to it, best then, like stamp collecting, to leave it behind.

The ladyfriend and I couldn't be bothered to cook last night and, fancying steak and chips, went to the Beefeater in Beaconsfield. We were seated by the window and on the table opposite I swear was the disgraced MP - now born again christian - Jonathan Aitken. Well, I couldn't help but eavesdrop on the conversation - Steven Lawrence, firefighters and asylum seekers - not the sort or natzi chit chat I would have expected from a 'believer'.
Also, the consumption of two Irish coffees is a little hard to swallow from a reformed character. No, it is my guess that this man has leopard's spots and was in Beaconsfield purely to relaunch his career in politics! Why, just opposite the Beefeater is the Conservative office!
Just you watch, you heard it first on Lola......

I drove to work today completely invisible, other cars took advantage of me at every occasion. It was my right of way and a fleet of cars abused my position on the road. I was very cross indeed.
Had a nice day yesterday, you can see my pictures if you Click here and some more if you click here

Had a very nice day yesterday, we went to a fabulous kitchen shop in Old Amersham with Graham, Jill, Angela and Doris and in the evening I got tight on red wine. Tred to get this webcam thing to work with the boys in Spain but it doesn't seem to be going to plan.
Having a lovely lazy morning for once, but the devil makes work for idle hands to do and as a consequence the ladyfriend and I have decorated the place we want in Eastbourne already before we've even bought it, let alone made an offer.
Today we are to spend our time in the fine company of Mr Clive and Mr Drew, I think we are off to tip toe around the snowdrops with my camera, hopefully this fine weather will keep so my exposures won't appear too drab.

I've pulled something in my neck, I know exactly when it happened, it was in the Thai restaurant last night. I bent down to pick up some magazines that I had put on the floor as we were leaving and I felt a twang. As a consequence, I have woken this morning with a rather uncomfortable stiffness. I need constant manipulation.
Oh god, I have two flea bites on my arm aswell from that bloody riffy dive we went into yesterday. Unbelievable, I ought to be able to sue. I don't know what it is about my blood and fleas but they seem to be drawn to me like Liz Taylor to registry offices.