This time tomorrow I will probably be entering Central Station, Amsterdam! One more day at work, a very short evening (we have to be up at 2am) and we're off jetting into the atmosphere on our journey into the low lands.
People here at work who view going to London as 'travel' have got every single detail of our flight, connections, dates etc. They are strange. They seem to live their lives through others, they know everything accept my inside leg............no hang on they probably do.

It's a special day today as it is the ladyfriend's birthday. Oh happy day! I bought her a power drill - apparently it is something she has always wanted. There's me thinking something along the lines of lace, perfume, jewels and gems and she wants a powerdrill. It is a nice drill though, it comes with loads of pointy bits and attachments. I am whisking her off somewhere lovely tonight for a slap up tea........hope the Harvester isn't booked up.

The postman was kind this morning, he brought my Santa's Kingdom tickets - hoooorraaaay! Atlast something concrete in my hands. I have everything to look forward to. Only three more days of work until I jet off to Amsterdam. I can't wait, I have decided that here be monsters. The people I work with seem to be pathetic and clueless to the modern world and it has put my back up this morning..........well, ok perhaps just one person I work with, well I don't actually work with her, infact she is in another office and I don't actually come into contact with her on a regular basis. Anyway she has annoyed me and I'm having trouble letting go of my anger today at her hopeless inactivity.
I shall find comfort in food.

I just don't understand it, she wins a boat race, breaks the record, the French call her the greatest sailor since Nelson and why on earth isn't she all over the papers? Why isn't she featured in special full colour pullouts? Why isn't she all over the tv? It's a shame on Britain, poor shame on this country.

I am very cross and crotchety, I have been on the internet 1: Trying to move money in my first direct account 2: Book the car park for luton airport 3: Pay the egg card and 4: Buy a cd from Amazon. I have had to phone Luton airport because my ladyfriend distracted me and I pressed the "press this button once" button twice. I can't move the first direct money about because the connection is slow. I have dropped connection countless times and to top it all I HAVE NOT GOT THE BJORK CD FREE WITH THE PAPER!!!!!!!
The bloody newsagent has pinched my magazine! I am not a happy camper this morning.

oooh, look at me! I am sitting in an internet cafe, I am updating my blog sipping a cappuccino with my lady friend. We have lots of things to do today. I have to buy my car tax and pay this and that into the bank. This afternoon my lady friend is allowing me to go to Habitat! Hooray! I shall look round fingering things and not buy anything.

This internet cafe is lovely, it's called coffee'n'click in High Wycombe, the nice lady wears a stripey rugby top and bottle bottom glasses.

Found it hard to get out of bed today, sang all the way to work this morning and feel so happy I can't stand. I am feeling strange about standing actually as I have a different pair of shoes on. I have become so adapted to being so close to the ground in trainers that, now I have put my winter shoes on, I feel like a stilt walker, I am now towering 2"s off the ground! I shall have to watch out for low flying aircraft. Talking of which, Mr Clive and Mr Drew should watch out for incoming flights, we went to see them last night, they have gone broadband, they have two computers set up on a network, they've got play stations, xboxes you name it. It looks like air traffic control.

This weekend looks a cracker, I am going to do a little light shopping on Friday, followed by dinner with the ladyfriend's brother and his wife (they are about 50 - still finding this bit hard to adjust to as I feel I have more in common with their two kids, I don't know if I am suitable for all ages or just the under fives. I've certainly caused "fun for all the family" by turning the lady friend)

Saturday is Brighton! Oh I DO like to be beside the seaside.

Sunday I am attempting my cross channel swim.

The muffin lady has come up trumps again. Just the thing for this dark winter's evening. I am wolfing it down. Top marks to Rachel Sharp, her third entry in so many weeks.

I have just been over to B&Q and Halfords to look at their Christmas lines. Very poor. Garish decorations and that was just Halfords.
Just heard news from Mr Clive - we are planning a shopping excursion to Brighton on Saturday. We are aiming to leave in single figures to avoid the crush of traffic into the city of pleasure and sin. I'm going to have those two up with the larks or I'll buckshot both their hides.

I've been hoping for snow, the skies here are all thick and heavy and out of my office window I can see fir trees. It looks Nordic, I feel Nordic (I have a penchant for A-ha), but it isn't Nordic. Why wont it snow?
I think a lot of teenage violence and child prostitution can be blamed for global warming. When I was a child I spoke as a child and atleast once a year I rode a sledge up and down a snow covered hill for an entire day, happy as larry, completely elated. There were very few pensioners tied up and tortured in those days. Clearly this "energy" builds up in the young which they vent in their mindless acts of violence and spitting.
Snow is to blame....or rather the lack of it.

oh, big shout out to Mr Drew by the way for suggesting two of the greatest sites (see my guestbook for guidance) Tis fine fun indeed to surf Mr Drew's favourites.

I am listening to the most loveliest of compilation cds burnt speshly by Mr Drew. Indeed it is a calming influence on my mind and on my day. At the moment it is playing Fairport Convention (never thought I'd see the day I'd say it, but they are much goodly great)
I think I have a huge Folk bent.

I am in rapture, shangrila! A man from systems is fiddling with my machine and all looks well....well he doesn't, his cheeks are all puffy (maybe wisdom teeth extraction) Anyway, things are looking up. I'm still using the girl with the Buffy fixation's computer (Buffy Mousemat, Buffy backdrop, you name it, I'm in the Buff).
Missed the meteors. I've had my stitches taken out, but alarm! My wound was bleeding a little last night, the lady friend is on blood watch for me and will inform me if I need a transfusion. Oh happy day.

I have had a hell of a day today. My computer is still winking at me, like some elderly relative on life support with the oxygen going up and down and i'm thinking "just die if you're going to, just die!"
I have waited all day for the "Systems" people to turn up and fix it but, as usual, they have not arrived. If I grew a pony tail and expressed a passion for The Lord of the Rings they would be here in a flash. Bloody geeks.
Tonight is the night of the shooting star spectacular and the weather is rubbish. It's going to be zero visibility. I am going to go home now and have a large sherry.

The devil is pissing on me today, my computer at work has completely broken and just keeps flashing at me. I can't get to my emails, I can't do anything. I am having to use the computer of a Buffy obsessed bafoon and the office smells like the seat of an old man's trousers.

What a beastly weekend this is. Rain is stopping play all round. I have been in 'mood indigo' for most of the weekend, I didn't parp my horn in support of the bolshovic firemen (if I was offered a huge pension at 50, bar -b- q's in the summer and children climbing over my lorry at fetes, I'd be prepared to put up with the pay conditions) I mean I ask you, all they seem to do round our way is do drills, perhaps that's because we don't play with matches round here I don't know......
Came to blows in Stowe-on-the-wold yesterday with the lady friend over a christmas cake decoration. It was so extreme that we split up whilst I went in to Past Times and she went into Scotts.....it was a tense moment, we were ok after a toasted teacake.
I cooked Plaice lastnight with a chilli marinade it was wonderful.

Just had a phone call from Spain, a parott sang along to a Ronnie Ronaldo song.

oooooooh, I'm feeling a 'lil fragile this morning. My enthusiasm for wine will be the death of me. Our cheese evening was a success last night. We demolished a box of crackers and a marvellous cheese selection. They were all lovely, Roquefort, Brie and some strange thing with walnuts in.
We are considering launching a gastronomic wednesday club where we will taste the food of a country or region accompanied by a bottle of whatever is appropriate each week. What a marvellous idea, good food, fine wine and beautiful company.
We watched those birds on the telly who tell people what to wear. I love that programme, I have however, discovered their secret, whoever they have on it, fat, skinny, tall, small, they put them in bootlegs and give them the Lulu hairstyle! Every week it's the same but I love it. I am beginning to flounder myself, as I set sail on the sea of 30 something. Although I am not yet beached on the sands of bad taste (some may disagree) I am certainly heading toward shallow water.
Time then for bootlegs and a Lulu hairstyle...........and perhaps a plunging neckline.

I woke today to find a spot on my neck and was quite distressed. The lady friend said it was probably a burn from the Doctor's fag on Monday during the 'op' which raised a small smile but I still feel like I'm ginger today. I hope this doesn't upset any ginger readers, but I share with you that feeling of not really belonging.

This evening we are going to Mr Clive and Mr Drew, we are going to tuck into the wine and cheese we bought in France on friday. I long to go back to France, I want more things now. I don't think I can convince the lady friend as she has the oddest looking pair of sea legs I've ever seen.

I am back at work this morning after my little "surgery" yesterday. I have shown everyone my scar which looks quite the bobby dazzler under its steri -strip.
I put myself in the hands of a lovely scottish Doctor and a rotund nurse, they were consummate professionals and I take my hat off to the NHS. They made me feel completely at ease and as I stared at the chintz curtains I thought "do what you will with me" I trusted them so!
Just found out that my lady friend and I were in terrible danger from terrorism on our cross channel jaunt. I always seem to stumble obliviously into these things.

I have joined Jane Fonda and have been under the knife this morning! I am nursing a scar of dimunitive proportions but it still smarts and warrants an afternoon off work.
France was fantastic and my lady friend and I brougt back a huge amount of booze across le manche

Well I am very excited and that's the truth. Off channel hopping tomorrow to stock up on libation, can't keep up with these highly inflated prices in dear old Blighty so it's time to get down with the masses and splice the mainbeam or whatever.
I can't wait, I am mostly looking forward to the bit where the crowds gather to wave us all off and the ticker tape and applause fills the port. I especially like the sound of that bit when the boat actually takes off and that extra "whooop" of delight comes from the people, the parp of the funnel and the squeals of delight!
Watch out lady France I'm coming to play on your tip tomorrow!

I have just had the most heavenly chocolate muffin and all this was made possible because of the lovely Rachel Sharp. She's so nice......not like that Clare Bourke who wouldn't even give you a Monarch of the Glen video.

Came to work this morning and everything on the way was orange. Orange postmen and orange street lamps, I was bathed in a continental glow.
I've hit a dodgy patch on my Sandie Shaw tape, it's got to that stage when she was dragged out of retirement by The Smiths, Morrissey in particular and she just doesn't suit his style of writing. What is it about homosexual men that can get a girl to do anything?
Still, if I had the same influence like Morrissey had in those days I would have dragged Beryl Reid out of retirement and had her sitting pretty at the top of the hit parade......still, I think she was busy on Moon Cat in the late eighties. She was certainly busy with Johnnie Walker. I should imagine she'd cause havoc laying down tracks high on dubonet and gin. God bless her.

We have a winner! Well done Kirsty Collingwood you were right with 'All that Jazz'. Watch out for further competitions.

Last night I was driving to Tesco and I can't imagine how I got there, if there was a sticker on my bumper saying "How's my driving?" I would have been on the phone all night and that's the truth.
I was listening to my new Sandie Shaw tape which is an absolute gem, I have always thought Sandie the best of the Bacharach bitches. Lulu a close second, the rest seemed to have wound up strewn on the beaches of bad taste. Do I need to mention Cilla, the drug fuelled Dionne and the dreadful Gene Pitney? (always thought she was an odd looking woman)

Kelly Clayton is down in the dumps which is no fit place for pretty journalists with Hollywood glamour puss looks to be! Kelly try my competition and win a smile.

Kirsty you're scorching hot......but cha gotta get the title to win the cd!

OK kids, competition time, first person to email the answer gets sumthink speshell. Top right of your page "I'm gonna rouge...." what song is this a line from?

Went to have my hair set this morning, put myself in the capable hands of Pedro, lovely chap. We talked about his mother in law who is 86 and keeps falling over. Visited my eldest brother Guy and his lovely wife Pam apres cut. They always have such lovely things in their house. Nice clothes and objects. I would quite like their flat. Infact I might do one of those spooky things where people take over other peoples identities and hide the real people in the loft......
Went to mother's for lunch, had turkey and ham sandwhiches for lunch - lovely - the secret was in the mango dressing. I have so much to learn from my mother.

What damp weather we are having this weekend, my lady friend has a rotten cold, brought on I am convinced from not wearing a vest. She turned her nose up at my trout last night.
Went to Reading today and I came up trumps in Gap as I bought a lovely pair of trousers for £9.99 - RRP £39.99! I mean I ask you - you would be livid if you'd have bought them at that price. Still there is a price to pay for being fashionable when it counts. I personally am quite happy with my fingers well off the pulse if it means there's a bit extra in my purse, know what I mean?
I was a bit tiddly last night and the street was full of fireworks, all I could hear were the bangings a whoopings but I couldn't see any. I was running to the front window, then the back window but was so upset as the sky was obviously alight above the house :(
I think I may have a firework party of my own next weekend, I have seen a lovely recipe where you cook a potato in mud.