Back of a postage stamp

Friday night the wife and I motored down to the coast to visit Michelle and Sarah the spinsters of Shoreham. It's a pretty tricky place to find so we had the sat nav ready and raring, the lady in the box was great....until we got close to the tricky bits. For some reason she got a bit slap dash and half hearted, then cross, then nasty - just our luck to have picked the menopausal voice, we're going to replace her with the fella instead.
Shoreham was lovely, we were taken to the farmer's market on saturday which was the best I have ever seen. Usually we come away from these affairs with molar splitting bread and sour jam, money for old rope but this one was brilliant, I was quite the happy shopper I can tell you. Purple sprouting broccoli, parsnips the size of cricket stumps and wild garlic. I had a riot. That was until one of the stall holders nearly started one. We struck up a conversation about Nigella Lawson and Rape seed oil when he said and I quote "what Nigella knows about cooking you could write on the back of a postage stamp" I tell you, I don't know to this day how I didn't wack him around the head with my newly bought hessian, biodegradable, fair trade, shopping bag. The wife did tell him how he had just lost a sale. Jumped up barrow boy.