"It's all round Asda's it must be true"

Now, before I start, I am overjoyed that Shannon Matthew's has been found alive but one can't help but wonder what will happen to the poor girl next. I know it's vile of me but I keep picturing her, Vikki Pollard fashion, at the police station saying "yeah but no but" and not helping with enquiries because her 'community' have 'learnt' her that the law is filth.

The rolling news reel live from Dewsbury has been a sharp reminder that Shameless Britain is very much alive. It must be a kick in the teeth to Gordon Brown, are these the children that Labour want to lift from poverty? And what poverty is that exactly? Everyone I saw was dripping in gold sovereign rings and designer trainers. With the extra child tax credits promised in Wednesday's budget they wont run out and suck on sun dried tomatoes it will spent on a packet of Lambert and Butler for Mum's new boyfriend.
I shouldn't mock the working class and I'm not, because the working class doesn't exist any more because none of them are working, they are all living on the social.

Anyway, back to Dewsbury, one thing that did strike me about the Shannon saga was how strong the women were, yes they were a bit rough around the edges and are crying out for the Tranny and Susannah treatment (idea to the BBC there, I'll let you have that one for nothing) but they were Amazonian compared to the drippy men who stood like rabbits in the headlights. My favourite was the lady who was running the search campaign, on Friday her deep masculine voice exclaimed "it's all round Asda's it must be true" it was a line that should have been written for Frank Gallagher, pure poetry.

So to Shannon, what will happen next? Her family will be lifted out of poverty for sure once they have signed over the rights to the News of the World, they will be shunned by Dewsbury and will have to move in with Sharon Osbourne. The Daily Mail will excavate the family's criminal past, Shannon will have a hit record 'let the music play' and do an ad campaign for Dreams, she'll appear on the front of Heat magazine and snort coke with Pixie Geldof. Oh it's sad of me to say it but let's just see if it all comes true.....