Life for Lola

Of course she is the most beautiful baby in the world, she was always going to be! Lola is very pleased with the little dumpling, very pleased indeed. I went to see her last night in the sterile environment (yeah right) of a NHS hospital and after navigating my way through a series of swing doors and narrow passage ways I scooped up the little bundle in my arms and she didn't scream! Quite a result. Not the usual Lola effect. I intend to become a major influence on her upbringing. Teach her all the valuable lessons in life. Impart my knowledge of fencing, macrame, container gardening, field sports and white water rafting. There will be no better finishing school for the little lady.

I will give her presents which will be useful yet unfamiliar - stuff from the Inovations catalogue which she will be lost for words on unwrapping them. I will dress her in Pirate Costume when in my charge and she can ride pillion through the country lanes of Sussex on field expedition trips - butterfly net flapping in the breeze. Oh yes, I'm looking forward to the next ten years.