Life for Lola

My mate Vicky from the Beeb (A bit like Jenny from the Block but think the Midlands) and I have been ripping Ellen to shreds like two rabid dogs with an unfortunate Hare between our teeth. I've found comfort in other women. Both Michelle and Victoria have come to my rescue with some wise words.

Last night old age sat by my side. I told her to leave and come back later when I came to my senses. I have just joined the RSPB which is mature enough as it is but, in the joining pack, I was sent a car sticker. I held it up to the ladyfriend and said "this is quite nice, shall we put it in the back window?" There was a second when the ladyfriend looked with polite horror at me and then I realised how close I had come. Like a canoe, teetering on the edge of a huge waterfall, the Ladyfriend was my Johnny Weissmuller sweeping down on a length of twine to pluck me from old age. Thank god. I popped the sticker in the bin just incase.