Life for Lola

I was awoken this morning by a loud humming from above which I took to be an extraterrestrial sound. Of course, in the cold light of day, I know now that it must have been a strong wind and the tv aerial but in my sleepy slumber it was more sinister - as you can imagine.

I thought to myself, "they've come for me" and that I had been selected to go to their world, learn their secrets and share our cultures, have peculiar things stuck on me and be left brain damaged.

Then I thought, blast, I've got rather a full programme this week and that I would have to turn down their once in a lifetime invitation. I wondered if we would see eye to eye (or lots and lots of eyes) if they saw my reluctance. I wondered if I would be able to get across all the things I had to do by pointing at things and miming. I imagined myself like a frenzied Una Stubbs getting my clue across but at the same time trying not to awake the neighbours, draw the attention of the local authorities and blow the alien's cover.